Foxley comes aboard!

Foxley comes aboard!

Maids have further bolstered their backline options, with the addition of full back/winger, Olly Foxley, from National 2 high-flyers, Redingensians. Foxley, who began his rugby at Pangbourne College, before playing at Nottingham Trent, and later Reading RFC, has been at Redingensians for the past 5 seasons, and has been an almost ever-present, in a team which has risen from mid-table in Nat 3, to within touching distance of level 3 rugby, after finishing 3rd in National 2 South this year.

Commenting on his decision to hop aboard the Maids train, Foxley (pictured in action for Redingensians below) said:


I felt my rugby needed a refresh and I chose Maidenhead for a few reasons – firstly I think they have an ambition to play in the leagues above and with my experience, I think I can play a key role both on and off the field in helping the team progress. Secondly, as a back three player, I have the chance to play on the 4G pitch every week, which excites me, and I know Maidenhead like to play expansive and exciting rugby. Lastly, having Will involved with the club brings another level of excitement, and attraction for both players and supporters- I’m looking forward to improving as a player, and learning as much as I can from him, and the other coaches”


Maids looked on course for a top 2 finish, right up until the latter stages of last season, before key injuries and unavailability, particularly in the backline, dashed those hopes, being overtaken by Bournemouth, who clinched the playoff spot, unfortunately being defeated away to Guernsey. Following on from the signing of Niall Crosley last week, Head Coach Russell Bolton is clearly determined to correct the errors of the previous campaign, and he was clearly ecstatic to be able to add Foxley into his backline armory:


I’m delighted to be able to welcome Olly to the club. We identified early on that our back three was an area where we wanted to improve both the quality and our strength in depth and as soon as we heard of Olly’s interest it was a no brainer to try and bring him in. We were aware of Olly’s talents through some of the joint work we have done with Redingensians over the past couple of seasons and having spoken to their coach Seb Reynolds he couldn’t speak higher of Olly’s character and competitive nature. I think Olly will fit in well with what we hope will be a highly competitive backline next season that compliments the power and set piece accuracy that our forwards currently offer.”

Backs coach Will Greenwood added:


“I’m over the moon that Olly has elected to join Maidenhead, from such a great club like Redingensians- it’s a hugely positive sign that a player of his calibre has chosen to come down the road, and we can’t wait to get stuck into training, and hopefully learn a little from him. From the joint training sessions with ‘Ensians last year, we know Olly has great footwork, and his pace will certainly complement our backline, especially on our 4G pitch at Braywick. We’re very excited with this addition, which no doubt adds quality and depth to our squad.”

Foxley is the 2nd new signing announced at Braywick this summer, with further news of a couple more additions to be released over the coming weeks.

Everyone is delighted to welcome Olly, and his family to Braywick, and we look forward to him becoming a key part of (hopefully) a very successful campaign next year.


Maids v Tynedale- National Cup Final

Maids v Tynedale- National Cup Final

Already now officially the most successful Maidenhead Colts side in history, “Brooksy’s Babes” stand just 70 minutes away, from achieving the truly remarkable feat of becoming National Champions. If this potential achievement wasn’t impressive enough on it’s own, they’ve done it in truly the most difficult circumstances, through adversity which may have broken other teams, but has had the reverse effect on this special group of young men. The strife they have endured this year has united them, and bonded them as the tightest of squads, that work and fight for each other and simply refuse to be beaten.

2 weeks ago, they saw off the latest in a long line of challengers in the semi final at Braywick. Sussex champions, Horsham, despite a brave fightback, never really recovered from a blistering first half from the home team, which saw them lead 26-3 at half time, eventually losing out 31-17, which in all honesty should have been more. A Kieran Grey masterclass from scrum half, and an aggressive magenta wall in defence from 1-22, were the catalysts for a fine result which put them in the final, to be held at the home of Worcester Warriors, Sixways.

The last remaining obstacle hail from Tynedale, Northumberland, who arrive at this game off the back off an impressive 38-17 victory away at Sheffield, following close wins over Old Northamptonians (33-32), Doncaster (13-5) and Percy Park (24-17). Tynedale will be marshalled by fly half and skipper Cam Grant, and he, alongside half back partner, Finn McKendrick, will be tasked with trying to unlock the Maids defence. The back row of Klein (6), Collins (7) and Richards (8) will need the game of their lives to stop Maids’ big runners, whilst Will Roberts at outside centre will have the unenviable job of marking the dangerous Elliot Thorne.

Maids make 2 changes from the side which won in the last round, with Hull and Williamson making way for Riches and Monk respectively, in an otherwise unchanged team. Teo Gaster at 6 will continue with his Friday night ritual of a nap on Big Dom’s sofa, whilst Drew Prince has been promised a kiss from his fit Auntie if he scores at Sixways. The second-row sandpit crew of Phil Wells and Jack Belcher are taking a break from getting booted of local pubs on a Friday night, and will tackle a 24 piece Disney jigsaw puzzle instead, which may take them a while, and Todd Muil can’t wait to celebrate with a birdbath, something he’s been practising regularly with brother Ross at home.

Coming from Braywick tomorrow, will be 4 coach loads of supporters, to be greeted by even more at the stadium, who are making their own way there. Every player, ex and current, coach, parent and supporter is right behind you boys, and we are so so proud of your fine achievements, both on the pitch, where you have been utterly sublime, but more importantly, off the pitch, where it’s clear to see how tight you have become as the season has gone on- a true band of brothers, who we all know, will give 100% tomorrow, led no doubt, by your imperious skipper, James Johnstone.

Do it for your coaches tomorrow- Michael, Stuart, Prinny and Martin. Do it for Gareth, who has had the most turbulent of years, but has still prevailed, stronger and better than ever- it’s clear you would run through walls for the man, and he would for you also. Do it for Brooksie- the man who started you on this journey, who was cruelly denied the opportunity to be there in person tomorrow, but who will be watching down proudly, urging you on, with a huge smile on his face. But, more importantly, do it for yourselves boys- you’ve earnt every single plaudit you get, and if you play the way you have all season, you’ll come out on top.

Tynedale team:

1.       Jeff Wealens

2.       Ollie Murrell

3.       Lewis Spark

4.       Joe Hanning

5.       James Sample

6.       Jack Klein

7.       Sam Collins

8.       Charlie Richards

9.       Finn McKendrick

10.   Cam Grant (c)

11.   Sean Abrams

12.   Tom Robson

13.   Will Roberts

14.   Alex Dryden

15.   Archie Robinson

16.   James Doody

17.   Ben Robson

18.   Euan Daniels

19.   Seth Kippax-Jones

20.   Des Weich

21.   Jack Donaldson

22.   Oscar Caudle

Maids team:

1.       Elio Mandozzi

2.       James Johnstone (c)

3.       Callum Dugmore

4.       Jack Belcher

5.       Phil Wells

6.       Teo Gaster

7.       Joe Thomspon

8.       Todd Muil

9.       Kieran Grey

10.   Elliot Frisby

11.   Ollie Hills

12.   Dan Collins

13.   Elliot Thorne

14.   Josh Odeniyi

15.   James Ford

16.   Matt Hine

17.   Will Manning

18.   Chris Allen

19.   Sam Riches

20.   Drew Prince

21.   Josh Henderson

22.   Louis Monk

Come on you Maids!



Maids Unveil First Summer Signing!

Maids Unveil First Summer Signing!

Everyone at Maidenhead RFC is delighted to unveil our first new signing for the 2018/19 season, Niall Crosley. Niall joins us from North Premier champions, Preston Grasshoppers, who will be playing level 4 rugby next year, in National 2 North, after romping their division last season. A product of their youth system, with a brief time away playing rugby for Hartpury, while at University, Niall has represented England at Under 16 level, and also Lancashire, where he played alongside fellow Lancastrians, Andrew and Mark Darlington.

Backs coach Will Greenwood commented “I’m thrilled to have a player of Niall’s quality onboard at Maidenhead, especially as he has come from my old club, Preston Grasshoppers. We beat various other clubs to secure his signature, and I’m confident he has what it takes to light up this division next year”

Crosley, who can play centre, wing or full back, is a strong ball carrier, with deceptively quick pace, who knows his way to the try line. There were plenty of others, including multiple clubs in National 2 who were keen to secure his services for next season, after his relocation down South, but he was clearly impressed with the ambition and culture that Maids offers. Commenting on his decision, he said

“I’m looking forward to starting a new chapter down South, and I’m really excited to be joining Maidenhead RFC. After meeting with Russ and Myke, it was clear the club is ambitious to progress on and off the pitch. I’ve spoken to a couple of the lads, who I already know at Maids, and they’ve got nothing but good things to say, and now I can’t wait to get started”.

Crosley should feel right at home at Braywick, becoming (approximately) the 93rd Northerner in the squad, with Goonfather, Don Bircheone, leader of the Northern Mafia, slowly getting rid of the Southerners, targeting Keohane, Parrott and Churchyard in his next cull of players. All at Maidenhead excitedly await the fixture lists, which will determine Niall’s maiden bus trip, and his initiation into the squad.

Welcome aboard Niall, we can’t wait to see you in magenta, and are over the moon that you’ve chosen to join us on this journey.

Watch this space, as we reveal news of further signings in the coming weeks.


Maidenhead Colts v Horsham (National Cup Semi-final)

Maidenhead Colts v Horsham (National Cup Semi-final)

It was back in the early 00s, under the stewardship of Gordon Macdonald, John Evans and Mark Brady that Maidenhead Colts, featuring the likes of James Haskell, Tom Guest, Paul Doran-Jones and Nils Mordt, swept all local sides before them, on their way to reaching the latter stages of the National Cup, twice progressing to the semi-finals, and once to the quarters. This remarkable feat has the potential to be bettered this Sunday, as the next breed of Maidenhead superstars, namely Messrs Harris, Muil, Johnstone and Wells take to the field at the Braywick Bowl, just 80 minutes away from sealing a place in the National final.

The visitors to Braywick for this highly anticipated clash derive from Sussex, namely Horsham RFC, who arrive at this game after seeing off Worcester 32-13 in the quarter final 2 weeks ago. They head into this match up in red hot form, after clinching the Sussex Cup a week ago, seeing off Brighton 19-8, meaning they enter this game unbeaten for the season so far.

Back row forward Vince Everitt, who scored 2 tries in the last round against Worcester, will look to get his side on the front foot, and the Maids back row need to shut him down early, to stop quick ball getting out to fly half Joe Blake, who will punish any Maids misdemeanors off the tee, if given the chance. Sadly, Horsham didn’t come through the last tie unscathed, losing both scrum half Aaron Linfield and centre, Jem Minto to serious injuries, which sees them out for the remainder of the season.

A thumping 59-21 midweek victory over Redingensians Rams, clinched the BBO title for the young Maids side, finishing ahead of Marlow- the only side that have beaten the champions this season, with a narrow win pre-Xmas. Since that day, Cup wins against last year’s national champions, Guildford (45-5), Beaconsfield (W/O), Marlow (45-30) and London Irish (23-15) set up a mouth-watering clash, away at well-fancied Bishop’s Stortford in the QF. Up against the organized, well-drilled home side, Maids had to dig in early doors, seeing little ball in the first 15 minutes. However, after settling into the game, they displayed little of the nerves often associated with playing away from home, and streaked clear, inspired by a Ben Harris hat trick to prevail 52-31, in a score that arguably was closer than it should have been. This result put them into the last 4, with either Sheffield or Tynedale awaiting in the final at Sixways, Worcester in 2 weeks.

In the Maids team, skipper James Johnstone will be tasked with the smooth running of the set piece, the hooker will be looking to lock forward Phil Wells for clean ball at lineout time, and along with props Elio Mandozzi and Callum Dugmore, aiming to provide a platform at scrum time. The backs, marshalled by half backs Kieran Grey and Elliot Frisby have plenty of pace out wide at their disposal, and will be looking to Josh Odeniyi in particular, to test the Horsham back 3.

Much to Big Dom Birch’s displeasure, a large crowd is anticipated for this game, and no doubt, a Maids win will cap a thoroughly miserable season for the Assistant Bar Manager, who was hopeful of the 1st XV getting relegated. Senior player, Ed Keohane, along with Dad, Ted, will be looking for a nice Sunday tear up in the stand, while it is hoped that Fwankie is untied from Lewis Jones’ chocolate machine to come and make Meeeester Gaweth a weally happy man, with lots of special cuddles. Steve Prince has been practicing the delivery of his pre match inspirational talk all week, borrowed from Mark Bates, and is feeling confident he can successfully deliver the somewhat ‘Churchillian’ speech of ‘f*****g whack ‘em’, without forgetting his lines. He must take much credit for the development of this group of players, after identifying members of the ‘sandpit crew’ at a young age, continued by regular reminders of their status through the years.

The incredible achievements of this young side after the adversity of losing their coach, Brooksy, so suddenly will take a long time to comprehend, and there’s no doubt, that this season, and all they have overcome will be remembered for many a year. Whatever happens this Sunday lads, just know that the whole club, from under 6s to 1st team, from your parents to the committee, we could not be more proud of you. Give 100%, and know that TB will be up there watching you with a smile, beaming with pride, and when things get a little tough out there on Sunday, just remember that he’s got your back.


Maids team:

15 James Ford

14 Josh Odeniyi

13 Elliott Thorne

12 Dan Collins

11 Ollie Hills

10 Eliot Frisby

9 Kieran Grey

1 Elio Mandozzi

2 James Johnstone (C)

3 Callum Dugmore

4 Jack Belcher

5 Phil Wells

6 Teo Gaster

7 Joe Thompson

8 Todd Muil


16 Matt Hine

17 Will Manning

18 Ollie Hull

19 Chris Allen

20 Drew Prince

21 Josh Henderson

22 Max Williamson  

Come on you Maids!

#Brooksysbabes #oneclub


Maids v Camborne (home)

Maids v Camborne (home)

Here we are again, about to sign off for the summer, after yet another season passes by in the blink of an eye. After winning the league last year, and subsequent promotion to SW Premier, no doubt everyone associated with the club would have taken our current position of 4th, with a game to go, if offered at the start of this campaign. However, the boys can’t help but think that had it not been for some key injuries and unavailabilities, a few poor decisions and the odd bit of bad luck, then we could be finishing as runners up, and heading to the play offs. Everyone at the club is buoyed by results and performances this season, and we’re sure that with a few key additions, a couple of tweaks, and lots of hard work in preseason, then next season we can have a real go at the title.

The season finishes, much how it started, against the ‘Cherry and Whites’, Camborne, from West Cornwall. In the opening fixture of the 17/18 season, Maids made the long journey home with 2 valuable bonus points, narrowly being edged out 30-27, after a Dave Mankee kicking masterclass secured the Camborne win. Despite the loss, Maids came away with confidence in their ability to compete at this level, which the league table no doubt illustrates. There will be no repeat of that performance from Mankee this time round however, as his number 10 shirt is filled by player coach Rhodri McAtee. Another player coach, in the imposing figure of Damien Cook starts in the 2nd row, and they even have DoR, Liam Chapple starting on the wing…maybe Russ Bolton could be tempted into giving forwards coach Mark Bates a place on the bench to continue this theme?

In summary of a wonderful season on the pitch, for the whole club, it would be remiss to omit a mention for the awful tragedy the club has endured off the pitch. Firstly, the club lost Maidenhead stalwart David Perry after he lost his brave battle with cancer, and then more recently, the sudden passing of DoR Tony Brooks. The loss of these two fine men has left a huge hole in our club, which we’re struggling to fill, and come to terms with. One thing is for sure, everyone at the club is determined to honour their memory by sticking together, working hard, and being the best we can be.

There are so many people at the club, who contribute so much to the running of our fabulous establishment, who don’t get the recognition they deserve, but on behalf of all the senior squad players, there are a few people I’d like to mention- Colin the Kitman, and Mick aka Timmy Saville, for sorting all our kit, often at short notice (when Dom doesn’t bother telling them of changes), Jockstrap John, for running the line, and making the rest of us look normal, Lynda in the kitchen- your food is amazing!!!

Our physio team, headed by Sharlene, and ably assisted by Mandingo Ali aka the ‘Black Mamba’, Ellie, Megan and the two Beths have done a fantastic job in keeping our players on the pitch- thank you for all of your hard work. Unsung hero Gareth Andrews-Jones, Meeeeester Gaweth, our Team Manager, Fixture Secretary, Colts Coach and all round legend gives countless hours to ensuring things run smoothly behind the scenes, we very much appreciate all you do for us, along with our other coaches- Russ ‘Chimpy’ Bolton, Mark ‘Badger’ Bates, Greens, Rob, Brad, you have helped create and maintain a fantastic environment for us players, and we are all so fortunate to have you guys onboard. In the upper echelons of the club, our brilliant committee- Geoff, Keith, Mike Andrew, Chairman Boughy, thank you all for your unwavering support, and especially big thanks to Boughy, for making our alcohol level consumptions appear remarkably low, when compared to yours. And finally, our larger than life Commercial Manager, Big Dom Birch, and his team- Wozza, Harvey, Ellie, Georgia et al, thank you for your tolerance, humour, great service and hard work, but thanks mainly for your tolerance…

In an attempt to learn more about the great man himself, Big Dom kindly took half an hour out of his mid-morning nap time, to let us know a little more about him:

*Name/Nicknames? ‘Twinkle Toes’, ‘Mr Happy’, ‘Chuckles’, ‘Big D’, ‘Big Dom’, ‘Don Bircheone’, ‘Goonfather’.


*Position? As Twinkle Toes above, best suited in a fast-paced back line at 12 or 13. At a pinch, flying down the wing skinning one and all.


*Occupation? Boughie’s Boss, Assistant Bar Manager, Chief Thief.


*Which Maids player would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with? Gotta be Chilli; something seriously wrong with him, on all levels – basically there’s no other way to put it but he’s a dirty wrong ‘un. Or Cads as I just don’t know what he’s talking about – it takes me back to caring for my kids when they were first born. Also, neither of my two reprobate children; Ellie and Francis (‘The Two

Rocky’s’) as I’d get my head kicked in or arrested if I spent time with them.


*Which Maids player would you most like to be stuck on a desert island with? 100% Coley; he’s so fat I could beat him over any distance. And Max Roddick – he’s a lovely sweet boy with lovely manners.

Hang on Batesy as well – he’s a cracker. He can fix my plumbing any time……


*Favourite TV Programme? I like to just watch the Maidenhead CCTV on repeat, and conjure up reasons to ban the goons from the clubhouse.


*Hobbies? Usual; flower arranging and keeping fit. Can’t get enough of either. When I get time, I enjoy seal clubbing, burning plastic, dropping litter, and general pollution.


*If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? I’d like to try Rhino or Elephant. All my life have been likened to a Gazelle – wanna look at it from the other side.


*What do you want to achieve this season, both personally and as a team? Personally, thinking of Le Sables ultra-marathon – tired of the standard ones of 26miles – beginning to feel like a jog in the park. And considering taking over management & coaching of team. Sick of Russell; far too much achievement and then what really gets my goat is everyone coming up from training sessions smiling, buying drinks and sometimes staying for more than an hour. 

As a team, finish bottom; keeps the punters away and again all that nonsense with goons wandering around just gurning and buying drinks. Pay your entrance fee, buy your drinks without smiling and wishing me a happy day and go home 30 mins after final whistle. Goons.

Back in the Maids lineup this week, is Dave ‘The Flake’ Cole, who has finished his Easter hibernation, successfully living off nothing but Easter Eggs for 30 days straight. Cole is joined in the back row by Will Macaulay, who is fortunate to be included, following the discovery of his sexual abuse and abandonment of the team’s much-loved furry animal ‘Mr Beaver’. In the 2nd XV, CEO of the ‘Sandpit Crew’, Rupert Erskine skippers the side, as reward for lowering his penalty count into single figures for the first time this season versus Newbury a week ago, and Rorie ‘Cow Head’ Hannigan starts at 12, despite grave head injury concerns, after putting his head through 17 pub windows last week.

Off the pitch, Ted Keohane and the Maids Ultras have agreed to fight during both the 1st and 2nd XV games tomorrow, hoping to end the season on a real high, before moving onto cricket violence for the summer, whilst Will Cadden is sure to ignore the boys all afternoon again, in his pursuit of Ellie, only to get drunk later on, and no doubt blow his chances. Again. With the early kick off, Sam Churchyard has anticipated 5pm to be the time he upsets Wozza behind the bar, to be shortly followed by Sam Angell making a swift exit, because he has to attend his Nan’s sister’s, second cousin’s tea party by 3pm on Sunday. For those up late, Sammy Hallett will be on Facebook live giving a tour of his kitchen, starting at 2.30am sharp.

Camborne team:

1.       Hearn

2.       Southwell

3.       Drew (c)

4.       Cook

5.       Riches

6.       Nicholls

7.       Rose

8.       Goldsworthy

9.       Peacock

10.   McAtee

11.   Bawden

12.   Westlake

13.   Tyler-Guy

14.   Chapple

15.   Newman

16.   Zacharovas

17.   Bartle

18.   AN Other

Maids team (1st XV appearances in brackets)

1.       M Parrott (c) (179)

2.       R Barber (17)

3.       A Darlington (21)

4.       S Hallett (24)

5.       S Churchyard (74)

6.       L Leonard (23)

7.       W Macaulay (36)

8.       D Cole (18)

9.       M Childerhouse (102)

10.   A Lubbock (2)

11.   M Roddick (11)

12.   L Ellis (8)

13.   E Keohane (105)

14.   G Blewitt (11)

15.   S Prince (35)

16.   L Jones (79)

17.   M Grimshaw (5)

18.   A French (18)


Come on you Maids!


Maids v Weston (away)

Maids v Weston (away)

It’s been a tough couple of months for Maids RFC- the devastating loss of our DoR, Tony Brooks has coincided with a poor run of form on the pitch, which has seen our hopes of promotion fade away, as 2nd placed Bournemouth have stolen a march. An increasing injury list and the emotional turmoil of losing a character like Tony has taken it’s toll on everyone associated with the squad, but with 2 games remaining, it’s time to dust ourselves down, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and ensure we finish as strongly as possible, in what, overall, has been a fantastic return to level 5 rugby for the club.

Away from the pitch, the squad have stayed tight throughout- fancy dress socials, birdbath bus trips and daily prank phone calls to Batesy have kept spirits high, and we’ve even managed to go over half a season without being banned by the new coach company, result! There are have been some excellent personal contributions to social life at MRFC since the last preview, with some highlights below;

Young McGregor took a 36-hour tour of Amsterdam airport, opting to extend tour for an extra day, on his own, Cadden continues to have his romantic advances firmly rebuffed by Ellie Birch, the mop attack on Jack Hill the latest incident to set him back, whilst rumours continue to grow that Fwankie has successfully escaped from Meeester Gaweth’s basement, only to be trafficked to the Mars factory, where he is currently handcuffed to Lewis ‘Pumba’ Jones’ personal chocolate production machine.

Moving on to this week’s game, Maids travel to Weston Super Mare, for their final away match of the season, desperate to finish with a flourish. When the teams met at Braywick before Xmas, Weston were comfortably put to the sword, winning 70-26, but everyone knows there will be no repeat of that score line this time round. Based on a rock solid set piece, led by props Sam Coles and Ollie Streeter, the home side will look to use their dangerous rolling maul from the lineout, which Maids need to be acutely aware of. In the backline, former Saints player Glenn Dickson lines up at 12, outside of playmaker and goal kicker James McKay.

After Ryan Long secured his 100th cap last week, we have another new centurion, in the form of Mark ‘Chilli’ Childerhouse. Chilli joined the club in 2012 from local rivals High Wycombe, and despite fierce competition for his shirt over the past 5 years, it is testament to his outstanding commitment, desire and ability that he has racked up 100 1st XV appearances in such a short time. There have been times where he has been asked to bench, or to play in the 2s, and in true clubman spirit, he never moans, instead putting everything in to helping the team succeed. Until his recent engagement with Amy, Chilli was an avid member of the social scene at Maids, often found with limited clothes at the back of bus, slurping bodily fluids- his own and others. We very much hope the Braywick crowd show their appreciation for a fantastic player and servant to the club, who will no doubt be found at the front of the stand, wind milling in front of his parents.


 Weston team:

1.       Coles

2.       Bird

3.       Streeter

4.       Glen

5.       Russell

6.       Kingscott

7.       Crossman

8.       Sugg

9.       Bennett

10.   Mackay

11.   Watkins

12.   Dickson

13.   Nel

14.   Morgan

15.   Jones

16.   Bennett

17.   Turton

18.   Tuttiett


Maids team (1st XV caps in brackets):

1.       M Parrott (c) (178)

2.       R Barber (16)

3.       A Darlington (20)

4.       S Hallett (23)

5.       S Churchyard (73)

6.       Greene (3)

7.       Leonard (22)

8.       Macaulay (35)

9.       Childerhouse (101)

10.   Lubbock (debut)

11.   Roddick (10)

12.   French (17)

13.   Keohane (86)

14.   Blewitt (10)

15.   Prince (34)

16.   L Jones (78)

17.   M Grimshaw (4)

18.   Ellis (7)


Come on you Maids!

Maidenhead v Ivybridge (away)

Maidenhead v Ivybridge (away)

Buoyed by consecutive home victory number 30 last Saturday, Maids are back on the road this week, as they make the long descent down the South West, to take on Ivybridge. Maidenhead were far from their best 7 days ago against Lydney, but huge credit must go to the visitors, who fronted up, and made life extremely difficult for Maids, despite their lowly position in the table. Fellow basement-boys, Hornets recorded just their 4th victory of the campaign in the last round, overcoming tomorrow’s opponents, by 23-16, so we know that Ivybridge will be desperate to bounce back, and return to their previous good form.

In the reverse fixture, despite missing players through injury and unavailability, Ivybridge provided one of the sternest tests so far at Braywick, and actually led at half time, before the Maids pack took control to win 26-20. Both Scoles and Ackerman- two of the dangermen last time round, are absent from the Ivyridge lineup this week, but accomplished kicker Mitch Pinkus reverts to full back, with Billy Pinkus and Adam Willow filling the wing spots. Player-coach Paterson at centre is one to watch out for, whilst upfront, skipper Matt Finn at tighthead will be tasked with giving his boys a platform, in what looks to be tricky conditions.

There are a few changes in the Maids team this week, with Laurence Leonard moving to the back row, but it is his birdbath partner, Tom King, who we caught up with this week, to learn a little more about…

*Name/nicknames- ‘Kingy’, ‘Mike King’, ‘Wayne King’, ‘ASBO Alan’, ‘Supreme Aryan’, ‘Bertie’s Boy’.

*Position(s)- Back row/hands behind my back in handcuffs.

*Occupation- Tea boy for Piers Morgan/Sesh Gremlin

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Dave ‘The Flake’ Cole- he’d slope off as soon as any form of hard work was required.

* Which Maids teammate would you most like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Laurence Leonard, so we could hold hands on the beach, practise our birdbaths and roam naked round the island.

*What’s your favourite TV Programme? I love watching the video of my cage fight where I got knocked out.

*What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Arson, GBH and ballroom dancing. I also enjoy trolling the local Maidenhead Advertiser reporter, Graeme Copas, on Twitter.

*If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? I’d be a dolphin, so I could partake in more orgies- much like the physio room on a Thursday night.

*What would you like to achieve this season, both personally, and as a team? Get off pub watch, 100% tackle completion, and reach the playoffs.

Maids welcome back Sam Hallett to the lineup, who has returned from his stock run to Amsterdam, ready for the rave bus back from Ivybridge, and he partners ‘Rubber-band Sam’ Churchyard in the 2nd row, who is allowed on the bus, now that youngster (victim) Louis Ellis is unavailable this week. Mark Darlington accidentally picked up his brother’s packed lunch at work, and hasn’t recovered from his food coma in time, so Lewis ‘Pumba’ Jones starts at hooker, ready to power-walk from set piece to set piece tomorrow. Frenchie-Five-Bags will start at 12, partnering Ed Keohane in midfield, with Perry Jansen at 9 leading the moaning, starting with the weather and early start, followed by ‘lazy forwards’, continued by ‘I don’t want to drink, I’m on dry Jan’, emerging as a leading contender for ‘Puss of the Week’. Dom Birch misses the trip, owing to his appearance on Dragon’s Den, in an attempt to secure funding for his tin foil bandanas, to try and block out the advances of ‘Mind Goon’, Psycho Sam.

Maids team:

1.       M Parrott (c)

2.       L Jones

3.       A Darlington

4.       S Churchyard

5.       S Hallett

6.       T King

7.       L Leonard

8.       W Macaulay

9.       P Jansen

10.   W Runciman

11.   S Prince

12.   A French

13.   E Keohane

14.   M Burnett

15.   G Blewitt

16.   S Hyland

17.   D Cole

18.   R Hannigan

Ivybridge team:

1.       J Morgan

2.       J Geraty

3.       M Finn

4.       J Sloan

5.       J Tripcony

6.       M Prout

7.       B King

8.       R Luscombe

9.       B Watts

10.   M Grieveson

11.   B Pinkus

12.   L Paterson

13.   C Briant

14.   A Willow

15.   M Pinkus

16.   W Vermigle

17.   A Taylor

18.   L Martell

Come on you Maids!