Back to business, after a week’s rest for Maids, as they travel to 2nd placed Old Patesians, who they lead in the league table by just 2 points. Old Pats were relegated from National 3 last season, but have adjusted well to South West 1, having lost only once so far- to Royal Wootton Bassett, 21-24. Old Pats will field a strong physical pack, led by their skipper Chris Dean, and bolstered by second row Josh Stevens, a man that will run their lineout, and be responsible for providing clean ball to a backline featuring rugby league convert James Gahan on one wing, and the speedy Duncan Spurrier on the other. Both men will have to be kept quiet, if Maids are to retain their place at the summit.

Maids head into this top-of-the-table clash, following a very strong performance two weeks ago, which saw them prevail 52-14 against Old Cents, Gloucestershire neighbours of Old Pats. Maidenhead feature the same starting XV this week, with the possibility that Phil White may have to withdraw at short notice, due to the impending birth of his first child. Coach, Russell Bolton shuffled his backline for the Old Cents game, moving Christoph Bart from centre, to the wing, where he has duly impressed. We caught up with him, to learn a little more about him:


*Nickname(s)? Toph, Chris, Shadow, Wench, Barack, Chocolate Boy, Prisoner 377

*Occupation? Recruitment Consultant, within the Adult Entertainment industry.

*Position? Centre/Wing

*Former clubs? Henley Hawks, North Otago, Excelsior Blues

*Biggest rugby achievement to date? Playing in the Ranfurly Shield game at the AMI stadium against Canterbury, in New Zealand. I also got to the final of the Maidenhead Royal Rumble in training, where I was beaten by Myke Parrott.

*Favourite food? Chicken

*Dream woman/man? Rihanna, and if I was ever to get curious, then probably young Frankie O’Keeffe- I’ve heard good things.

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck in a lift with, and why? Without a shadow of a doubt, Mr Sam Churchyard, the only thing that could make that experience more painful, would be if Cadden was there too. Neither have any boundaries, and it scares me.

*What do you want to achieve this season? Promotion, top of the league, have a sleepover at Big Dom’s.


Ross Muil is still suffering with his weird, fetish-induced wrist injury, so continues on the sidelines, and Umar Marriott is in Brixton at a rap battle, so Paul Britton replaces him on the bench. Scrum half Mark Childerhouse remains out of action, with a broken heart, while Mike Burnett hasn’t been seen, since Dom Birch’s Whatsapp outburst about his Mrs. Fears for coach Russell Bolton are growing, as rumours gather, that Andy ‘the Hitman’ Emmanuel has a price on his head, for putting his son in the 2s, and Ellie Birch will be delighted to see her top 3 dreamboats, Ed Keohane, Perry Jansen and Murray Barrett all in the same side.


Maids team:

  1. Parrott (c)
  2. N Jones
  3. L Jones
  4. Churchyard
  5. White
  6. Cadden
  7. Macauley
  8. Long
  9. Hill
  10. Thompson
  11. Bart
  12. Hannigan
  13. Keohane
  14. Bart
  15. Jansen
  16. Britton
  17. Barrett
  18. Prince

Come on you Maids!