Maidenhead face a tricky away trip to Grove, buoyed by their best performance of the season last week, in an 80-17 thumping of Chippenham. Chipp had no answer to the pace, power, and fitness of a rampant Maids team that displayed accuracy, precision and a hunger to dispel the memories of a disappointing reverse at Banbury 7 days earlier.

Due to the weather, Grove haven’t played for 2 weeks, since losing away at Chippenham, 43-12. They will be disappointed with recent form, after an impressive start, which saw them win 4 of their first 5, before losing out to Maidenhead at Braywick, 37-25, in a spirited performance. Maids will be wary of the much-vaunted catch and drive from Grove, which has been a feature of many of their scoring plays so far this year. No doubt, second row player-coach Josh Tyler has been a big advocate of this weapon selection, and it’s an area they’ll surely look to capitalise on, in the anticipated bad weather this weekend.

For Maids, there are a few changes this week, and one inclusion, is that of Murray Barratt, a new signing this season, who has impressed so far…

*Nickname(s)? Muz, Muzza, Barry Bennall, Launchbury.

*Occupation? Strength and Conditioning/Rugby Coach

*Position? 6/8/reluctant 2nd row.

*Former clubs? Luctonians RFC, Hereford RFC.

*Biggest rugby achievement to date? Working as strength and conditioning coach for England Women’s Rugby, and coaching Wellington College to just one loss in 2 years. Try assist for Old Pats.

*Favourite food? Peanut butter, ideally consumed off genitals (male or female, not fussy).

*Dream woman/man? Jo Thomas, the Crossfit coach in Windsor.

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck in a lift with, and why? Churchy/Parrott, they both like a birdbath far too much.

*What do you want to achieve this season? Cement a place in the starting XV of a title-winning side and ask Jo out for dinner.

Ryan Long misses out this week- he has been unmasked as the despicable Twitter troll, sending messages to Katie Price on Twitter, so has been suspended by Stephen Bough, and Phil White has travelled to Washington, to participate in the feminism marches against Donald Trump. Perry Jansen continues to struggle with the loss of George Michael, whilst Ross Muil has taken advantage of the couples’ discount at the Sunbed Shop in town. Now the depraved Nic Jones is injured, Chris Gill has agreed to return to the 1st XV, following a traumatic debut bus trip from Trowbridge, where the wandering hands of Jones changed the young man’s outlook on life forever.

Maids team:

  1. Parrott (c)
  2. L Jones
  3. Britton
  4. Emmanuel
  5. Churchyard
  6. Barratt
  7. Evans
  8. Macauley
  9. Hill
  10. Thompson
  11. Prince
  12. Hannigan
  13. Bart
  14. Burnett
  15. Finnie
  16. Richmond
  17. Gill
  18. Childerhouse

Come on you Maids!

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