Maids v Newbury (home)

Maids v Newbury (home)

Maidenhead welcome fellow title challengers, Newbury Blues to the Braywick Bowl tomorrow in a game that will undoubtedly have significant effect on who finishes South West One at the summit. Maids are unbeaten at Braywick since October 2015, whilst Newbury arrive on the back of an 8-game winning streak, which has seen them close the gap on the top 2 of Old Pats and Maids, to just 2 points. The game couldn’t be more finely poised, and no doubt, both sides will be hoping for a big crowd to cheer their respective teams on.

Maids will have to play for 80 minutes this week, without giving Newbury the benefit of a 20 minute lull, something which was afforded to Richie Craig’s Witney boys last week. Eventually, Maids settled into their rhythm, and dispatched the Oxfordshire side 47-26, but not without a couple of scares.

At Monks Lane earlier in the season, it was the Blues who came out on top, 31-28, after a superb individual performance from captain Dan Thorne, at 10. This week, he dons the 13 shirt, with Nick Wacwitz at fly half, but Maids will be wary of the threat he poses. Upfront, Newbury have big ball carriers in Winfield (6) and Millar (8), so will have to stop them early, and meet them head-on at the gain line.

Maidenhead welcomed back various senior players to the side last week, and one man who was singled out for praise by Head Coach Russ Bolton, was young stud, Ross Muil. We had a chat with him this week, to find out a little more about him…

*Nickname(s)? Rossy, Wossy, Rossco, Brad Junior, Charlie’s better half.

*Occupation? PE Teacher/Gap year student

*Position? 2nd row

*Former clubs? Maids, Berks U20s

*Biggest rugby achievement to date? Scoring a try at Braywick while my girlfriend was watching. It was all for her.

*Favourite food? Italian

*Dream woman/man? Gemma Parrott (when she was pregnant)/Rupert Erskine

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck in a lift with, and why? Nic Jones, in case he has his weird Fritzl chessboard with him.

*What do you want to achieve this season? Promotion, and to ensure my Mum doesn’t catch me being ‘intimate’ with my girlfriend again.


Maids welcome back William Cadden to the starting line-up for this game, whose IQ has yet again deteriorated, this time, through a broken hand. Sam Churchyard wins the season award for most ridiculous absence, electing to book his stag do on this weekend, but fortunately, no other Maids boys actually like him, so James Emmanuel is the only other absentee for this. Nic Jones has had the Dmitri Payet treatment this week, being booted out of the Whatsapp group for skipping training due to Valentine’s, and then offering no apology, but is allowed to play the match. Mark Childerhouse continues in the scrum half shirt, with special permission from Russ Bolton to conduct his naughty little habit at half time.


Maids team:


  1. Parrott (c)
  2. P Jones
  3. L Jones
  4. Muil
  5. Barratt
  6. Cadden
  7. Macaulay
  8. Long
  9. Childerhouse
  10. Jansen
  11. Prince
  12. Hannigan
  13. Keohane
  14. Bart
  15. Finnie
  16. Britton
  17. Meek
  18. Burnett


Newbury team:


  1. Hicks
  2. Drysdale
  3. Macaulay
  4. Bastable
  5. Doel
  6. Winfield
  7. D Stewart
  8. Millar
  9. Piggott
  10. Wacwitz
  11. Futcher
  12. Love
  13. D Thorne
  14. Walker
  15. T Thorne
  16. G Stewart
  17. Davis
  18. Bartlett


Come on you Maids!


Maids v Witney (home)

Maids v Witney (home)

Maids v Witney

We now enter the business end of the season, just one point off the top, but just one point ahead of Newbury in 3rd, who we entertain next week. Although the whole squad were hugely disappointed to leave Grove with a loss, there is an air of optimism now, that we are through the worst of the injury and unavailability crisis, and can push on in the last 8 games and achieve promotion.

Standing in our way, next up, is Witney, constituency of former Prime Minister, David Cameron, who will be hoping to get one over on current PM, Theresa May from Maidenhead. Boat race for a bonus point? Nic Jones will no doubt be delighted to welcome Mr Cameron to Braywick, where he can discuss his pig fetish, with a fellow fan.

Former 1st XV skipper Richie Craig will strictly be on the side lines coaching tomorrow, despite having made a few playing appearances this season, as well as receiving his customary yellow cards. Upfront, ‘Big Al Richens’ will don the tighthead shirt, and look to give a solid platform for his backline, whilst skipper and scrum half, Gareth Campbell will be tasked with marshalling them. Winger, Lewis Collins, will be one to watch out for on the AGP, for the Maids back 3- he has searing pace, and scored impressively off first phase in the reverse fixture at Witney earlier in the season.

For Maidenhead, making his first start of the season for the 1st XV, is club oddball, Mark Childerhouse. Let’s see what filth he decided to spout this week…

*Nickname(s)? Chills, Chillers, Chilli, Gok Wan, ‘orrible little thing.

*Occupation? PA for my Dad.

*Position? Reverse gargoyle.

*Former clubs? Redingensians (before they got good), Wycombe.

*Biggest rugby achievement to date? Player of the month February 2016. Boom.

*Favourite food? Egg sandwich

*Dream woman/man? Becky Baxter

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck in a lift with, and why? Tom Finnie- he’s a man on the edge, and he’s about to snap.

*What do you want to achieve this season? Get back with my fit ex-girlfriend, and hope that my Dad doesn’t find out about my weird little lunchtime habit.

Right on time, Maids will be delighted to welcome back senior players Ed Keohane, Ryan Long, Nic Jones and Ross Muil from injury, with Perry Jansen now back after a spiritual getaway to find himself. Will Cadden would be back this week, but he’s still sitting in the stands trying to figure out the handling drill from Tuesday, and Murray Barratt is hoping for a pass from his Mrs, after his feelings towards the Crossfit coach were made public in the last match preview. Russ Bolton has made the tactical decision of placing James Emmanuel on the bench, so he can wind up Richie Craig all game from close proximity, whilst Lunch Money Lewis switches to tighthead, despite the recent attention from his recent single ‘Bills’, as illustrated in the clubhouse.

Maids team:

  1. Parrott (c)
  2. P Jones
  3. L Jones
  4. Barratt
  5. Churchyard
  6. Muil
  7. Macauley
  8. Long
  9. Childerhouse
  10. Jansen
  11. Prince
  12. Hannigan
  13. Keohane
  14. Bart
  15. Finnie
  16. Britton
  17. Emmanuel
  18. Thompson


Witney team:

  1. Fuller
  2. Merriman
  3. Richens
  4. Webb
  5. Mortimer
  6. Coe
  7. S Collins
  8. Allen
  9. G Campbell (c)
  10. Lamb
  11. L Collins
  12. Godfrey
  13. Clarke
  14. Lambourne
  15. Lewis
  16. Copperwheat
  17. C Campbell
  18. Foggett

Come on you Maids!