Maids took a giant step towards their ultimate goal of securing the South-West 1 championship last week, gaining 5 points away at in-form Oxford Harlequins, whilst 2nd placed Old Patesians faltered against a resurgent Newbury team, which opened up a 7 point gap at the summit. Consequently, if Maids can win two of their final three matches, they will be crowned champions.

First up for Bolton’s men, is the small matter of a Berkshire derby, versus old rivals, Reading. Sadly for the ‘Green Machine’, their fate for next season is already sealed, with relegation to Southern Counties now a mathematical certainty. Plagued by injuries and unavailability, this has been a season to forget for the men from Sonning, and after just 3 victories this campaign, they will hope to rebuild and ensure that next season is far more successful.

In their line-up this week, they feature Charlie Davies at 8, who has received rave reviews, despite his team’s struggles, and ever-present Chris Greig on the wing, always seems to score versus Maids. Alex Dorliac at 13 is one to watch in green and white, and fullback-turned-flyhalf Alex Murray-Smith, will be tasked with ensuring good ball gets out to his dangermen.

A key feature of Maidenhead’s success this season, is the return of Braywick old boys, such as Ryan Long, Ed Keohane, Alex Cannon and more recently, Joe Bough, after a brief secondment at London Cornish. It’s great to have Joe back in the squad, and we caught up with him this week, to learn a little more about him…

*Nickname(s)? Boughie, Boughie Junior, Le Bough, Forest Fire, Tango Pubes, Toe-breaker, Wotsit Head.

*Occupation? Chairman’s son .

*Position? Second row.

*Former clubs? London Cornish, BRFC Paris, Aston Cobras.

*Biggest rugby achievement to date? Selected for ‘ile de France’; it’s a weird ginger French team, but we didn’t have enough members to play a game.

*Favourite food? Crisps (mainly Wotsits).

*Dream woman/man? The fat chick at pole dancing in the clubhouse on Thursday nights.

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck in a lift with, and why? Rupert- he’s the only man who understands the lineout calls less than me.

*What do you want to achieve this season? Promotion, and to break some toes.

 

In the words of Mark ‘Badger’ Bates… “he’s got Tourette’s in his feet”, so players from both sides, will be hoping that Le Bough can keep it in check tomorrow. Ryan Long is absent this week, as he participates in his annual MILF-hunting weekend, disguised as a ski trip, while Nic ‘Fritzl’ Jones has used a similar excuse, but to hide a very different excursion…

Will Cadden and Rorie Hannigan are both rested this week, so there are call-ups for Weird Will Thompson at centre, and Murray Barratt in the back row, a victorious coach of Wellington U15s midweek at Twickenham. Bolton hands first team debuts to outstanding youngsters Laurence Jones and Joel Greene this week, and the whole of Maidenhead awaits Allan Greene’s Facebook status in anticipation. Rumours abound that senior Greene has already started drinking for the game, and is a bottle of port down, are currently ‘unsubstantiated’, but it’s a distinct possibility. Fwankie make Mr Gaweth weally happy last week with his twy, so he continues in the starting lineup.

 

Maids team:

 

  1. Parrott (c)
  2. Laurence Jones
  3. Britton
  4. Bough
  5. Emmanuel
  6. Barratt
  7. Muil
  8. Macaulay
  9. Childerhouse
  10. Jansen
  11. Prince
  12. Keohane
  13. Thompson
  14. Khakhumlan
  15. Finnie
  16. Lewis Jones
  17. Greene
  18. Lewis

 

Reading team:

 

  1. Pallett
  2. Watson
  3. Nicol
  4. Parr
  5. Kenneally
  6. Cranton
  7. McRoberts
  8. Davies
  9. Portch
  10. Murray-Smith
  11. Greig
  12. Czernuka
  13. Dorliac
  14. Mitchell
  15. Hill
  16. Woodworth
  17. Hegarty
  18. Assefuah

 

Come on you Maids!

 

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