It’s a big welcome back to Braywick this week for Bolton’s charges, who came agonisingly close to opening their South West Premier with a victory last week at Camborne, only to be edged out 30-27. Despite the loss, Maids will take confidence from their performance, which demonstrates they can compete at this level, and it’s an evident shift in mindset when they are disappointed they didn’t return with 5 points, instead of being pleased with the 2. The fast-improving 2nd XV put in a great shift in a round-robin with Slough and Drifters 1st XV teams, winning the triangular, without conceding a point, and they travel to local rivals Bracknell this week, hoping to start their league campaign with a win.

Visitors this week, are Bristol-based Cleve, who have aspirations of improving upon their 9th-place finish last term, and they’ve certainly started as they mean to go on, by thrashing Hornets 54-12 a week ago. New Head Coach, Chris Brooker, formerly of Harlequins and Bristol handed debuts last week to 5 new arrivals, including Mike Uren, a summer arrival from Clifton, and young Tommy Price at scrum half. There are a couple of changes this week, which sees Louis Bartlett replace Paul Vinicombe at tighthead, and Oskar White starting in the 9 jersey.

Maidenhead Coach, Russell Bolton has the luxury of picking an unchanged 18 this week, which means a continuation in the number 12 shirt for Rorie ‘Cow Head’ Hannigan, who we caught up with, for an intimate outpouring of his thoughts;

*Name/nicknames: Rodman, Resh, Cow, Cow Head, Grazer

*Position: Centre, often face down in the grass.

*Occupation: Project Manager for Brazzers.

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with? Will Cadden, in case I catch Dingbatitis. Don’t want my Mrs turning psycho like his last one.

*Which Maids teammate would you want to be stuck on a desert island with? Mark Bates- we could have tear ups and birdbaths, while watching the sunrise.

*What’s your favourite TV Programme? Only Fools and Horses, because I get to watch Rodney, Jonesy’s little brother on Gold. That’s when he’s not banged up for bashing his Mrs.

*What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? I really enjoy flying kites on Maidenhead Thicket, near to the layby where everyone goes dogging.

*If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? Easy, I’d be a cow- graze all day, moo to my heart’s content and lick as many udders as I like.

*What do you want to achieve this season, both personally, and as a team? Personally, I want to convince Boughy to get rid of the horrible artificial pitch, and get some grass back, and as a team, I want increased nakedness, and a mid-table finish.


There is just one positional change in the squad, which sees Myke Parrott returning to the starting XV, after recovering from indigestion, and he’ll line up alongside Mark Darlington, who switches to his preferred hooking position, with brother Andy at tighthead. Sammy Hallett lines up in the row, after a suspected broken nose last week proved just to be a nose-bleed from altitude, whilst Jon Lavin will hopefully have finished puking after the 6 hour bus trip a week ago. Ed Keohane is due to start at centre, but has told Russ Bolton he’s only 50:50, due to wedding planning, as he only has 11 months to go. Frankie Khakhumlan is still on the missing list, with Meeester Gaweth denying all knowledge of his whereabouts, despite his neighbours complaining of sobbing noises from the cellar.

Maids team:

1-      Myke Parrott (c)

2-      Mark Darlington

3-      Andrew Darlington

4-      Sam Churchyard

5-      Sam Hallett

6-      Will Cadden

7-      Will Macaulay

8-      Ryan Long

9-      Jack Hill

10-   Will Runciman

11-   Mike Burnett

12-   Rorie Hannigan

13-   Ed Keohane

14-   Max Roddick

15-   Perry Jansen

16-   Nic Jones

17-   Jon Lavin

18-   Tom Finnie

Cleve team:

1-      Liam Appleton

2-      Tom Gollop

3-      Louis Bartlett

4-      Anton Welling

5-      Bradley Horman

6-      Tyler Jerrum

7-      Hayden Johnson

8-      Mike Uren

9-      Oskar White

10-   Nathan Huntley

11-   Adam Lamberts

12-   Greg Welling

13-   Steven Bath (c)

14-   Sam Polledri

15-   Alex Kilbane

16-   Paul Vinicombe

17-   Ben Silk

18-   Joseph Hall