Following a well-earned week off, Maids resume their SW Premier campaign over at Weston-Super-Mare-based Hornets this Saturday, hoping to claim their first win on the road of the season. Hornets have endured a tough start so far, claiming a solitary victory and sit bottom of the table presently.

Russ Bolton gave his players a deserved night off training last Thursday, and he has been rewarded with an excellent response from his squad, which saw them enjoy two high-energy sessions this week, with nearly 50 players at both training nights. They head into this game with high hopes after overturning a 7-20 half time deficit against Ivybridge, to eventually pull away, and come out as 26-20 victors.

Although Maidenhead and Hornets have never met in league action before, the surroundings won’t be too unfamiliar, as Hornets ply their trade on a 3G pitch, which might come in handy if weather forecasts for Saturday are to be believed. Leading the home side, will be outside centre, Richard Dempsey, whilst player-coach Steve Pape will lead from the second row. Sonny Haines at tighthead will be tasked with providing a platform at scrum time, while the Maidenhead back 3 need to be wary of winger, Charlie Carter, who has scored plenty of points already this term.

For Maids this week, Jose the Tinkerman aka Russ Bolton has made some changes, including the return of fan’s (Mum’s/wives/girlfriend’s) favourite, Ed Keohane. He took a few minutes out from his busy wedding-planning schedule to answer a few questions…

*Name/nicknames- Ed, Eddie, Dreamboat, Tripod, Perfect Aryan, Greenwood Junior.

*Position(s)- 10/12/13/15 (whatever the dice rolls in selection).

*Occupation- Freelance Karaoke Teacher.

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Big Sammy Hallett- the sing off would get too intense, and when he gets drunk, he gets physical.

* Which Maids teammate would you most like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? PezDawg- we will make it work. Greens would leave the rest of the team and come and rescue us anyway.

*What’s your favourite TV Programme? ‘Don’t tell the Bride’ is a favourite at the moment, enjoy the inspiration it’s giving me.

*What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Pretending to plan a wedding is pretty fun at the moment- I’m only doing it for the stag do, and then pulling the plug anyway. I love being abused by my younger brother Joe, in front of my proud Father, Ted, and also getting us banned from coach companies all over the South West.

*If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? I’d be a donkey- bottom half is there already.

*What would you like to achieve this season, both personally, and as a team? Cement a top 6 finish and wipe the floor with Bracknell and Newbury. Personally, do enough for Greens to leave me alone on a Sunday.

William Cadden returns from playing in the ‘Sandpit Crew’ league with Norway, and starts at number 8 for the 2nd XV against Abbey. He’ll line up alongside Player of the Month, Stevie Hyland, who was given his choice of 5 beautiful physios at training last night, as a reward for his efforts. Storm Brian has taken his first victim, blowing away Nic Jones’ shoulders, so he continues on the sidelines, alongside brother Laurence, who still can’t balance properly, after the big operation. Sammy Hallett’s latest roofing job, upon Harlequin Coaches has landed him in hot water with the Maids committee, so he has to sit and listen to Dicky Brown on the whole journey back as punishment. Sam Churchyard has travelled to New York to support ex-babysitter Harvey Weinstein, and takes new plaything Max Roddick for ‘support’. Rumours are growing as to the whereabouts of Fwankie, after Lynda bust out fabulous Thai curries in consecutive weeks, accompanied by the sounds of chains and groans from the kitchen, with Meeester Gaweth seen sneaking out the side door, with a mischievous smirk on his face. Scott Prince is back in therapy, after a severe regression in his behaviour this week, being caught placing cameras in his Aunt’s bedroom, but has been granted day release to join the squad for a few hours.


Maids team:

1.       M Parrott (c)

2.       M Darlington

3.       A Darlington

4.       L Leonard

5.       M Grimshaw

6.       T King

7.       W Macaulay

8.       D Cole

9.       M Childerhouse

10.   P Jansen

11.   J Robinson

12.   E Keohane

13.   R Long

14.   R Lewis

15.   W Runciman

16.   L Jones

17.   S Hallett

18.   S Prince

Come on you Maids!