This week at the Braywick Bowl, Maids welcome struggling Lydney, looking to avenge their 38-29 defeat back in September, in what was arguably, the worst performance of the season to date. With just 10 games remaining in this campaign, both sides will be desperate for the points, for conflicting reasons at opposite ends of the table.

Despite their lowly position in SW Premier, Lydney arrive at this game on the back of a morale-boosting victory over Hornets 7 days ago, a result which leapfrogged them off the foot of the table, at the expense of their West-country visitors. Contrastly, Maids let slip a 19-3 lead, to lose 30-24 away at Exmouth, and although they gained 2 bonus points, a mad 10 minutes at the start of the 2nd half cost them a victory they feel they should have secured.

For the visitors this week, there are a few unfamiliar names, following the acquisition of various Gloucestershire All Golds Rugby League players. Steve Parry at 10, is one of those players, and has international experience, having represented Wales RL, which means previous fly half, Ollie Locke, moves outside him to inside centre. Reuben Haille on the wing, formerly of Chinnor and Southend was the dangerman back in September, and the Maids back 3 will have to ensure they keep a close eye on him.

Yet again, the selection dice has been rolled this week, with various changes made to the side, which sees Sam Churchyard start in the row, alongside Laurence Leonard, who we caught up with, to try and gain a bit of an insight into his abstractly-wired mind…

 

*Name/nicknames- ‘Laurence’, ‘Lar’, ‘Larry’, ‘Paddy’, ‘Necrophiliac Jack’, Bruno.

*Position(s)- Back of the bus, pants down.

*Occupation- March organiser for Pride.

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Tom King- he’s not in to any of the fun stuff, like some of the other boys, just too straight laced, for a liberal, hippy little potato-picker like me.

*Which Maids teammate would you most like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Parrott and Chills would be my top choices, though I’d struggle to keep my hands to myself.

*What’s your favourite TV Programme? Father Ted

*What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Gay-lick football, and naked farming.

*If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? I’d be a cow, so I could have multiple lads milking me at the same time.

*What would you like to achieve this season, both personally, and as a team? Personally, I want one, united Ireland. Under British rule. As a team, try and nick that play off space, and then have a big party with the Unicorns.

 

Will Cadden misses out this week, as he tries to convince his fit Mrs that he’s ‘not like the rest of those immature children at the club’ and continues in his fake, upper class persona, and he is replaced by Will Macaulay, who returns after unsuccessful hair restoration surgery. Dave Cole and Myke Parrott are rewarded with their recent weight gain successes, with places on the bench, while Sammy Hallett has been given a week off to stock up for the rave bus next week v Ivybridge. Ryan ‘John Terry’ Long, starts in the number 7 shirt, and Alex French returns to the centre after he managed to pop some of his spots. Congratulations to Jon Cranton, the semi-pro rugby player, who successfully achieved 12 views on his latest rugby fitness Insta page, he skippers the 2nd XV this week versus Henley 3s.

Maids team:

1.       L Jones

2.       M Darlington

3.       A Darlington

4.       L Leonard

5.       S Churchyard

6.       T King

7.       R Long (c)

8.       W Macaulay

9.       P Jansen

10.   L Ellis

11.   M Burnett

12.   A French

13.   E Keohane

14.   S Prince

15.   J Robinson

16.   M Parrott

17.   D Cole

18.   W Runciman

Lydney team:

1.       C Lane

2.       G Butt

3.       B Ncube

4.       D Bennett

5.       J Ward

6.       K Brown

7.       H Brown

8.       J Walter

9.       S Arnott (c)

10.   S Parry

11.   R Haille

12.   O Locke

13.   J McLean

14.   N Tucker

15.   T Lakabuka

16.   C Thompson

17.   R Watling

18.   M Williams

Come on you Maids!

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