Buoyed by consecutive home victory number 30 last Saturday, Maids are back on the road this week, as they make the long descent down the South West, to take on Ivybridge. Maidenhead were far from their best 7 days ago against Lydney, but huge credit must go to the visitors, who fronted up, and made life extremely difficult for Maids, despite their lowly position in the table. Fellow basement-boys, Hornets recorded just their 4th victory of the campaign in the last round, overcoming tomorrow’s opponents, by 23-16, so we know that Ivybridge will be desperate to bounce back, and return to their previous good form.

In the reverse fixture, despite missing players through injury and unavailability, Ivybridge provided one of the sternest tests so far at Braywick, and actually led at half time, before the Maids pack took control to win 26-20. Both Scoles and Ackerman- two of the dangermen last time round, are absent from the Ivyridge lineup this week, but accomplished kicker Mitch Pinkus reverts to full back, with Billy Pinkus and Adam Willow filling the wing spots. Player-coach Paterson at centre is one to watch out for, whilst upfront, skipper Matt Finn at tighthead will be tasked with giving his boys a platform, in what looks to be tricky conditions.

There are a few changes in the Maids team this week, with Laurence Leonard moving to the back row, but it is his birdbath partner, Tom King, who we caught up with this week, to learn a little more about…

*Name/nicknames- ‘Kingy’, ‘Mike King’, ‘Wayne King’, ‘ASBO Alan’, ‘Supreme Aryan’, ‘Bertie’s Boy’.

*Position(s)- Back row/hands behind my back in handcuffs.

*Occupation- Tea boy for Piers Morgan/Sesh Gremlin

*Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Dave ‘The Flake’ Cole- he’d slope off as soon as any form of hard work was required.

* Which Maids teammate would you most like to be stuck on a desert island with, and why? Laurence Leonard, so we could hold hands on the beach, practise our birdbaths and roam naked round the island.

*What’s your favourite TV Programme? I love watching the video of my cage fight where I got knocked out.

*What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Arson, GBH and ballroom dancing. I also enjoy trolling the local Maidenhead Advertiser reporter, Graeme Copas, on Twitter.

*If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? I’d be a dolphin, so I could partake in more orgies- much like the physio room on a Thursday night.

*What would you like to achieve this season, both personally, and as a team? Get off pub watch, 100% tackle completion, and reach the playoffs.

Maids welcome back Sam Hallett to the lineup, who has returned from his stock run to Amsterdam, ready for the rave bus back from Ivybridge, and he partners ‘Rubber-band Sam’ Churchyard in the 2nd row, who is allowed on the bus, now that youngster (victim) Louis Ellis is unavailable this week. Mark Darlington accidentally picked up his brother’s packed lunch at work, and hasn’t recovered from his food coma in time, so Lewis ‘Pumba’ Jones starts at hooker, ready to power-walk from set piece to set piece tomorrow. Frenchie-Five-Bags will start at 12, partnering Ed Keohane in midfield, with Perry Jansen at 9 leading the moaning, starting with the weather and early start, followed by ‘lazy forwards’, continued by ‘I don’t want to drink, I’m on dry Jan’, emerging as a leading contender for ‘Puss of the Week’. Dom Birch misses the trip, owing to his appearance on Dragon’s Den, in an attempt to secure funding for his tin foil bandanas, to try and block out the advances of ‘Mind Goon’, Psycho Sam.

Maids team:

1.       M Parrott (c)

2.       L Jones

3.       A Darlington

4.       S Churchyard

5.       S Hallett

6.       T King

7.       L Leonard

8.       W Macaulay

9.       P Jansen

10.   W Runciman

11.   S Prince

12.   A French

13.   E Keohane

14.   M Burnett

15.   G Blewitt

16.   S Hyland

17.   D Cole

18.   R Hannigan

Ivybridge team:

1.       J Morgan

2.       J Geraty

3.       M Finn

4.       J Sloan

5.       J Tripcony

6.       M Prout

7.       B King

8.       R Luscombe

9.       B Watts

10.   M Grieveson

11.   B Pinkus

12.   L Paterson

13.   C Briant

14.   A Willow

15.   M Pinkus

16.   W Vermigle

17.   A Taylor

18.   L Martell

Come on you Maids!