Maids v Weston (home)

Maids v Weston (home)

For the second week in a row, Maids have the comfort of playing in front of a home crowd, and will be hoping to claw back some ground on league leaders Bournemouth, who now sit top of the pile, clear by 4 points. Bournemouth face a tricky trip away to the Forest of Dean to play league new boys Drybrook, who showed what a good side they are, losing very narrowly away at Barnstaple 25-20 last week, after consecutive wins over Old Pats and then away at Newton Abbott.

Maids are under no illusions as to the danger that visitors, Weston Super-Mare pose this Saturday, despite their lowly league position. ‘The Seasiders’ ran Ivybridge very close recently, losing just 24-20 away from home, and they have also had to face the other top teams in the division, Bournemouth and Barnstaple, so despite sitting currently sitting in 13th, they are a better side than the table suggests.

It could prove to be a fascinating contest upfront this week- both packs have dominant scrums, both teams are skippered by the loose head props- Sam Coles for Weston, and Parrott for Maids, whilst the 2 number 8s- Brad Talbot for the away team, and Dave Cole for the home side both score plenty of tries. Weston are missing second row Andy Glen from last weeks’ home defeat to Brixham, he is replaced by Callum Kingscott, whilst former Saints player, and now Player/Coach, Glen Dickson, is replaced at fly half by young George Chapman. He will be partnered at half back by new signing, New Zealander, Kadin Brocks.

For Maids, there are a few changes, some enforced, some not, but we decided to focus on young ‘Sex Bomb’ Max Roddick, who is enjoying a consistent spell in the first XV, after a season that was somewhat hampered by injury last year.

Name- Max Roddick

Nickname(s)- “Maxy”, “Roddiculous”, “Poppet”, “Stuart Little”, “Churchy’s Plaything”, “Jailbait”

Position(s)- Full back/Wing/tied up in Churchy’s bedroom

Occupation- Market Research

Weaknesses- Market Research, height, weight, speed, strength, footsize, replying to texts.

Strengths- Flirting, shaking my toosh for the boys, not scoring, chop tackling.

If you could be any of your teammates, who would you be and why? I’d be Jaryd Robinson, he’s fast enough to run away from Predators, and is really good at Kapadi.

Which teammate would you least like to have over for dinner? Adam Lubbock- my Mum would see his snake charming trick, fall in love with him, and before I knew it, my Dad would be out the door, Lubbs would be my Stepdad and be putting me in all his Insta stories.

What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Being sexy.

Tell us something we don’t know about you- I was in Eastenders, as Ben Mitchell, when I was a baby.

What are your aspirations for this season? Promotion, learn how to kick, get a rig like the Fox.

 

Andy ‘The Toe’ Darlington has ducked the second consecutive game against a strong scrummaging side and has travelled to Edinburgh for a weekend of selfies with his girlfriend, he is replaced at tight head by Lewis Jones who is buzzing with anticipation for the biggest event of his calendar on Wednesday evening- trick or treating on Halloween. Laurence Leonard returns to England, after assisting Donald Trump with making some pipe bombs, and he’ll join up with the 2s over at Amersham, whilst Rorie ‘The Cow’ Hannigan will just show up on Saturday midday, oblivious as to which team he is playing in, and where. Ed Keohane is off to ignore his new wife on honeymoon for a week, concentrating on trolling on social media, and sourcing new content for the Whatsapp group, interrupted only by the odd mumble, and awkward pose for a few photos.

With the impending Halloween Party on Saturday night at the club, rumours are growing of a repeat performance from a certain ‘Zorro’, who may make an appearance in light of Ellie Birch’s friend joining the party, so, please all make sure changing room 3 is clean and tidy after the games.

 

Weston team:

1.       S Coles (c)

2.       M Hocking

3.       O Streeter

4.       C Kingscott

5.       A Russell

6.       T Sugg

7.       D Spelman

8.       B Talbot

9.       K Brocks

10.   G Chapman

11.   A Howman

12.   M Nel

13.   C Maslen

14.   H Morgan

15.   R Mckay

16.   T Hocking

17.   M Turton

18.   R Bennett

 

Maids team (caps in brackets):

1.       M Parrott (c) (187)

2.       M Darlington (27)

3.       L Jones (84)

4.       S Churchyard (80)

5.       A Berry (7)

6.       T Muil (8)

7.       W Macaulay (40)

8.       D Cole (24)

9.       C Morgan (3)

10.   W Runciman (26)

11.   M Roddick (17)

12.   R Hannigan (30)

13.   N Crosley (6)

14.   A Lubbock (8)

15.   O Foxley (5)

16.   S Rawsthorne (2)

17.   O Langstone (1)

18.   P Jansen (81)

 

Come on you Maids!

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Maids v Ivybridge (home)

Maids v Ivybridge (home)

After a much needed week off, rugby returns this week to Braywick, as the 1st XV welcome unbeaten Ivybridge, whilst the BBO 2nd XV face local rivals Windsor. Maids were unlucky to return from Exmouth empty handed 2 weeks ago- a couple of missed kicks at goal, a dropped ball over the line, unfortunate key early injuries compounded an already depleted side through unavailability, but full credit to Steve Perry’s Cockles, who play their pitch and conditions well, and shut us out in the 2nd half with some excellent defence to prevail 22-14.

‘The Bridgers’, will be more familiar with the surface at Maids than most others, having had their own AGP installed over summer, and they’ve certainly adjusted to it well, winning all 4 of their home games, plus 2 impressive away victories at Cleve and Exeter Uni as well. Weston have come closest so far to ending Ivybridge’s winning run, narrowly losing 24-20 last time out, which will no doubt give Maids hope that they can be the ones to inflict their first defeat of the season.

Ivy have begun the season with a new skipper, full back Charlie Briant taking over the reins from tighthead prop Matt Finn, who won his 200th cap in his last game, a fine achievement. He will be joined in the front row this week by hooker Jay Geraty, and young loose head Wes Vermigle, in place of the absent Jon Morgan. Billy Pinkus on the wing is one to watch out for, he currently leads the points scoring charts, and is very much a marksman goal kicker, so the home side’s discipline will have to be of the highest standard.

Maids have a few returnees this week, but it is one of the only 3 players to have played every game this season so far that we spoke to this week, to learn a little more about. The mysterious, highly sexually-charged, curious Todd Muil took a break from his busy schedule to mumble a few words to us for this weeks’ player interview.

*Name – Todd Muil

*Nickname(s) – ‘Ross’, ‘Brad’, ‘Hot Toddy’, ‘Rowdy Toddy Piper’, ‘Yah’, ‘Jari Litmanen’

*Position(s) – 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

*Strengths – not giving into peer pressure, heterosexuality, penguin CPR, Andy Berry.

*Weaknesses – sipping pints, looking after big G, general conversation, my brother’s girlfriend Charlie.

*Occupation – I’ve returned to my old school in my gap year, to see if I have a bit more luck with the 6th form girls now.

*If you could be any of your teammates, who would you be and why? Oli Foxley- his abs are so good they make up for him being ginger and would turn most men the other way, but not me, I’m South African with a heart of stone.

*Which teammate would you least like to have round for dinner? I’d say Myke Parrott- he’s 166 days into being the most boring bloke I’ve ever met.

*What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Photography. Particularly through the keyhole photography into my brother’s room, when Charlie is round.

*Tell us something we don’t know about you – I got beaten up by the police in Portugal. They may have broken my bones, but never my spirit.

*What are your aspirations for this season? To play every position in the forwards, and top the league getting promotion.

 

Poor Jaryd Robinson has come down with a severe case of ‘Ellie-ache’, so continues his rehab for another couple of weeks, whilst Mikey Davies slots into the vacant wing spot after returning from a poaching holiday in Kenya with Big Don Birch, who has now taken 12 weeks’ holiday this year alone. Andy Darlington has finally succumbed to the vicious ‘Turf Toe’ injury sustained earlier in the season, and will be comfort eating in Gourmet Chicken for the weekend. He has been replaced in the 1st XV by the latest addition to the sandpit crew, Sam ‘Travis’ Rawsthorne who has somehow got himself a proper job this week, after Andy Berry kindly completed his job application and wrote (lied on) his CV for him.  Lawrence Leonard has disappeared with his imaginary girlfriend home to Ireland for the week, so misses out, whilst Olly Foxley makes a timely recovery from fake tan poisoning to stay at full back.

 

Sam Churchyard enters the weekend as a shadow of his former-self; the trepidation of what his wife Amy might get up to at Ladies’ Lunch, paralyzing the poor man with fear, whilst Niall Crosley won’t be removing his gumshield after the game until Siobhan is sober on Sunday lunchtime.

 

Finally, all at the club would like to wish some of our recent injured players a speedy recovery- Sam Hallett, Andy McGregor, Umar Marriott and Tom King will be out a while longer yet, and Eric Blewitt last match received the news that he is sadly out for the season. We wish you boys the very best and hope to see you back in magenta soon!

 

Ivybridge team:

 

1.       W Vermigle

2.       J Geraty

3.       M Finn

4.       G Wilson

5.       J Sloan

6.       P Abraham

7.       A Northcott

8.       R Luscombe

9.       B Watts

10.   L Martell

11.   H Legg

12.   M Grieveson

13.   L Paterson

14.   B Pinkus

15.   C Briant

16.   M Prout

17.   N Davies

18.   D Ackerman

 

Maids team (caps in brackets):

 

1.       M Parrott (c) (186)

2.       M Darlington (26)

3.       L Jones (83)

4.       S Churchyard (79)

5.       A Berry (6)

6.       T Muil (7)

7.       R Long (124)

8.       D Cole (23)

9.       C Morgan (2)

10.   W Runciman (25)

11.   M Davies (28)

12.   E Keohane (109)

13.   N Crossley (5)

14.   M Roddick (15)

15.   O Foxley (4)

16.   S Rawsthorne (1)

17.   W Macaulay (40)

18.   A Lubbock (7)

 

Come on you Maids!