Maids v Exeter University (away)

Maids v Exeter University (away)

Maids travel to Topsham this week, to face league new boys, Exeter University, aiming to make it 4 wins in a row, for the first time since the league-winning campaign of 2016/17. Results for the University have been somewhat inconsistent this year, and one can only presume that availability and selection issues hamper the home team during holiday season. This is evidenced by 34-0 and 32-10 losses to Cleve and Weston respectively before Xmas, before a stunning 38-18 victory at Ivybridge last week. With no BUCS game due until January 30th, the University should have a full complement to select from this week, so Maids know it will be a tough ask, and a very different line-up to the one they faced back in September.

Last week’s lineup saw the University field club captain Rory McMeikan in the back row, and with no midweek fixture due, he will likely continue this Saturday, whilst there was also an appearance for talented fullback, Sal M’Boge, who has featured in the ‘A’-League for Exeter Chiefs. Josh Pietersen and Harry Bazalgette were stand out performers in the reverse fixture at Braywick earlier in the season, and both featured against Ivybridge last week, so are expected to play this week also.

It’s been another pleasing selection week, with minimal changes made, and it’s only Will Macaulay missing from the team which beat Drybrook last Saturday, to be replaced by young Todd Muil, who will likely dodge the team social this week, and elect to go out with his other fwends and not invite any of the rugby lads. WE HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT BLOODY BIRTHDAY TODD.

Anyway, enough about selfish Todd, we caught up with the 9-year-old, Adonis-like sun-dodger Olly Foxley this week, to try and understand just why he needs so many holidays…

 

Name- Olly Foxley

Nickname(s)- ‘The Fox’, ‘Ginger Spice’, ‘Gingernuts’, ‘Alpha Ginge’, ‘Ruel Fox’, ‘Holiday Harry’.

Position(s)- Full back/wing/in the shade

Occupation- Still in year 7 at school.

Weaknesses- Sunlight, height, adult clothes, playing consecutive games, fruit shoots.

Strengths- Physique, rugby, shagging, holidays, kids’ train tickets.

If you could be any of your teammates, who would you be and why? Dylan Baptista- he’s massive, and people run away from him when he has the ball.

Which teammate would you least like to have over for dinner? Andy Darlington- as soon as the fun, eating part is done, he’ll be whinging about his toe and the referee, and then duck out of the washing up.

What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Golf, shagging, gym, shagging, eating.

Tell us something we don’t know about you- I used to have my tongue pierced, and I was born in 2005.

What are your aspirations for this season? Promotion and a tan.

 

Adam Lubbock has taken a weekend off to mentally recover from the witty retorts of Elio and the Sandpit Crew, whose very own Levi Meek has recovered from ‘Bucket Bicep’ to take his place in the 2s line-up this weekend against Rams. Will Runciman starts at 10, and has escaped further disciplinary action after he was caught red-handed prank calling Big Ron Birch yesterday before training. Rather than suspend Runciman, Big Ron took the rather reserved, reasonable approach of simply setting his kit bag alight last night…must be going soft in his old age.

Saw Rawsthorne continues his run in the 1st XV squad, and has been assured that as long as his girlfriend continues to attend matches, he will never be dropped, regardless of performance, whilst Ryan Long has been caught adding her on Facebook already. Ted Keohane is confident he can race back home post-match in time for his curfew, he couldn’t resist the temptation of lobbing bricks at some scrounging students, and he’ll be joined on the sidelines by Maids pervert, Mike Andrew, who will be visiting the student campus for very different reasons.

Maids team (caps in brackets):

1.       M Parrott (c) (195)

2.       M Darlington (32)

3.       A Darlington (33)

4.       S Churchyard (89)

5.       L Leonard (37)

6.       A Berry (14)

7.       R Long (131)

8.       D Cole (32)

9.       C Morgan (12)

10.   W Runciman (31)

11.   D Baptista (7)

12.   C Broughton (4)

13.   N Crosley (15)

14.   M Roddick (22)

15.   O Foxley (8)

16.   S Rawsthorne (7)

17.   T Muil (13)

18.   P Jansen (85)

 

Come on you Maids!

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Maids v Drybrook (home)

Maids v Drybrook (home)

Welcome to the first home game of 2019, where we welcome newly-promoted Drybrook to Braywick. With 11 games left remaining, Maids currently sit in 4th place, just 5 points off the much-coveted playoff place, currently occupied by Barnstaple, who are still to come to Maids. 3rd place Ivybridge were defeated by tomorrow’s visitors at ‘The Mannings’, so all the boys will be wary of a side that is more than capable of upsetting the form book.

Back in September, in awful conditions, the Maids pack powered to victory, sealing a bonus point win, to prevail 29-7. However, with dry weather due, combined with the artificial pitch at Braywick, the dangerous Drybrook backline will be confident of an upset.

Player/coach, Tim Stevenson lines up at fly half for the visitors- an accomplished kicker and game manager, he will be vital to any success the Forest of Dean side might have in this match up. Ben Large at inside centre will skipper the side, whilst upfront Will Greenway in the second row, and Sam Peaper at 7 were standout performers earlier in the season.

For Maids, new signing, and former Championship flyer, Charlie Broughton continues at centre, but it’s another new addition we spoke to this week, Dylan Baptista. Baptista has joined the club mid-season, and the powerful winger, who also plays International rugby for Zimbabwe continued his fine try-scoring form, with a double against Cleve last week. Here’s what he had to say…

Name- Dylan Baptista

Nickname(s)- Denzel (from Only Fools and Horses), Big D, Thighs, Wendell Sailor.

Position(s)- Wing, not centre

Occupation- Priority Engineer Complaints Handler. Customer Service in a nutshell, getting shouted at.

Weaknesses- Fitting into the 11 shirt, making Longy laugh/talk/smile, catching, passing, general happy demeanour.

Strengths- running straight, male grooming, winning MoM based on looks, bench press, sniffing glue.

If you could be any of your teammates, who would you be and why? I’d be Andrew Darlington. I’d love to experience this ‘Turf Toe’ he claims to have, which miraculously appears every time we do fitness.

Which teammate would you least like to have over for dinner? Tom King- I’m not sure having a member of the EDL over for tea would go down too well with the family.

What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? I enjoy fishing trips and legal highs.

Tell us something we don’t know about you- I have a small scar on my face, from when I was attacked with a knife in a Staines nightclub.

What are your aspirations for this season? Help the club achieve history, by sealing a playoff spot, and have a sleepover at Big Ron’s house.

 

Laurence Leonard continues to play his final few games before Maidenhead’s finest, Theresa May, implements Brexit, and gets the little tinker booted out of the country, while Will Macaulay has escaped a recent driving ban, as he simply blamed Churchy. Andy Darlington was a doubt for the game, after brother Mark nearly forgot to wash his kit for him, but luckily Andy Berry stepped in, and left work early to help him out and then put him in the bath, in Mark’s absence. Lewis Jones, in his quest to get fit, has decided to take a break from rugby, his only form of exercise, while Myles Williamson has sadly been hampered with ‘Spade Elbow’, after his play date with Elio Mandozzi.

Drybrook team:

1.       Seville

2.       Stretch

3.       Beattie

4.       Greenway

5.       Renton

6.       Frowen

7.       Peaper

8.       Bourne

9.       Clancy

10.   Stevenson

11.   Moore

12.   Large

13.   Price

14.   Baldwin

15.   Winfield

16.   Hale

17.   Howells

18.   Watts

 

Maids team (caps in brackets)

1.       M Parrott (c) (194)

2.       M Darlington (31)

3.       A Darlington (32)

4.       S Churchyard (88)

5.       A Berry (13)

6.       R Long (130)

7.       W Macaulay (47)

8.       D Cole (31)

9.       C Morgan (11)

10.   W Runciman (30)

11.   D Baptista (6)

12.   C Broughton (3)

13.   N Crosley (14)

14.   M Roddick (21)

15.   O Foxley (9)

16.   S Rawsthorne (6)

17.   L Leonard (36)

18.   P Jansen (85)

 

Come on you Maids!