Despite a week off for the players last weekend, it’s been busy behind the scenes, as the club have worked hard to secure the signing of our new Head Coach for next season, Dave Mobbs-Smith. ‘Mobbs’, currently at Rosslyn Park in National 1 has previously worked with current forwards coach, Zoran Higgins, and came through the process as the club’s number 1 choice, despite stiff competition from several other very high-calibre candidates.

Huge credit and thanks must go to Steve Bough, Gareth Andrews-Jones, David Pepper and Russell Bolton for all their hard work with this thorough and professional proceeding, which has seen us acquire a first-class professional coach, who will have the hard task of following in the footsteps of outgoing incumbent, Russ Bolton. More details on the appointment of Mobbs, can be found here-

Looking ahead to this week, it’s no exaggeration to say this one of the biggest games in Maids’ recent history, as they welcome 2nd placed Barnstaple to Braywick, hoping to leapfrog them in the table, and nick the play off spot, which will see a contest for promotion to level 4 rugby.

Barum comfortably won the reverse fixture 39-7 back in October, against a heavily-depleted travelling Maids side, but you can guarantee they will face a far stiffer test this time round. As well as the long journey East to Berkshire, Barum may well also be hampered by the fast, artificial pitch at Maids, their bludgeoning (but extremely effective) style of forward-orientated style of rugby, possibly not being overly suited to the track. However, Barnstaple offer far more than just a well-executed catch and drive, marshalled by the imposing figure of Ben Hilton in the second row, both centres, Ryan Carter and Jake Murphy are tough, experienced competitors with higher level experience, and they will have to be kept quiet, if the home side are to prevail.

Since winning 27-15 at Old Pats two weeks ago, the physio room has been busy, and we’re delighted to be able to welcome back several players who have been missing for the previous weeks. However, perhaps our most exciting returnee, is centre and talisman, Ed Keohane, who has been out since the stunning 26-14 win over Bournemouth in December, after a shoulder operation. We’re delighted that he chose to write down his answers to this week’s questionnaire, as opposed to his normal mumbling, part pikey, part tinker-talk, that only his Dad and Laurence Leonard understand…


Name- Ed Keohane

Nickname(s)- ‘Dreamboat’, ‘Ellie’s number 1’, ‘Matt Holland’, ‘Plastic Paddy’, ‘Eddie the Beagle’

Position(s)- centre/fly half/back of the bus/front of the doghouse.

Strengths- karaoke, mumbling, weddings, huge womb ferret.

Weaknesses- my ASBO Dad, getting home on time, general communication, listening to coaches.

Occupation- Amazingly, I’m in charge of delivering an education to the young people of this country.

If you could be any of your teammates, who would you be and why? Perry or Longy, don’t have to worry about training, play when they want, living the dream.

Which teammate would you least like to have over for dinner? Definitely Rod Muil- he’d show up without a bottle, eat all the food, not say thanks, and then go out to see his other mates.

What hobbies do you have outside of rugby? Bailing my Dad out of custody and making IEDs with Laurence Leonard.

Tell us something we don’t know about you- I used to be a jockey as a teenager and trained with Frankie Dettori.

What are your aspirations for this season? Try and get Parrott back on the beer, help my Dad with his Anger Management and get us playing one extra game.


Niall Crosley has completed his full transition to Southern posh boy as he contemplates the best venues in South West London to dine for brunch whilst sipping prosecco and moaning about Brexit, so misses out this week, for being too stuck up. Charlie Broughton partners Ed Keohane in midfield, after finally thrashing out the terms and conditions of his private photographer for his Instagram, Boughy reluctantly agreeing to pick up the bill with the money he made by selling all the squad’s match balls this week.

Dave Cole narrowly passes his HIA after being beaten up by Jon Cranton in training on Thursday, and he’ll line up alongside Will Macaulay, who received 7 stitches, after being shanked with a sharpened toothbrush by Mark Darlington in the shower, after he said horrible things about his brother Andrew. #snitchesgetstitches

Sam Churchyard is away this Saturday, he now must work every weekend for the next 30 months, after his wife finally got to the bottom of his financial irregularities, but he’ll be replaced by Laurence Leonard, who has still managed to prevent his make-believe girlfriend from reading previous match previews which definitively out him as a total and utter Honeypot fiend. If anyone knows her, please pass on this vital information.


Maids team:


1.       S Rawsthorne (13)

2.       M Darlington (36) (c)

3.       A Darlington (37)

4.       L Leonard (43)

5.       A Berry (19)

6.       R Muil (19)

7.       W Macaulay (51)

8.       D Cole (38)

9.       P Jansen (92)

10.   W Runciman (36)

11.   S Prince (48)

12.   C Broughton (9)

13.   E Keohane (113)

14.   M Roddick (25)

15.   M Davies (32)

16.   E Mandozzi (9)

17.   R Long (133)

18.   C Morgan (14)


Barnstaple team:

1.       Snell

2.       Starkey

3.       Angell

4.       Lloyd

5.       Hilton

6.       Gohl

7.       James

8.       Bayet

9.       Bath

10.   McManus

11.   Lee

12.   Carter

13.   Murphy

14.   Topps

15.   Berry

16.   Dromantas

17.   Hague

18.   Nash

Come on you Maids!