Japan v South Africa, 2015, England v Australia 2003, Maidenhead v Exeter University 2019…

What an unbelievable spectacle the Braywick faithful were treated to last Saturday, down at the Bowl. If Rob Howley were a betting man (Definitely not, RFU Regulation 17), then to be trailing the supremely fit Students team by 10 points, with 8 minutes to go, on an AGP in searing heat, then his money would only have been going one way.

This Maids team are made of strong stuff though, and the early June, preseason start really bore fruit, with a strong rally towards the finish, which saw Ed Keohane squeeze over on the last play to tie the game at 43-43, before wonderfully converting from the touchline, to give Maids a 45-43 win, which they arguably deserved, after outscoring the Students, 7 tries to 4.

It is a quite different test for Mobbsy’s Men this weekend, as they make the long trek down the South West to face Exmouth, who come into the game, off the back of a thumping 76-24 victory at Launceston last Saturday. Winger Matt Ryan will be one to watch, after he scored 6 last weekend from the right wing, and fly half George Meadows successfully scored 8 conversions, so discipline will have to be good. Exmouth also feature former Hornets player-coach, Steve Pape in the 2nd row, and he’ll be a key ball-carrier for the Cockles, whilst Dave Bargent at number 8 is always a tough opponent to play against.

Thankfully, there are minimal changes to the Maids side this week, but Dreamboat, Ed Keohane does miss out, being forced to work. Sadly, Levi Meek refused to swap shifts at Lidl, so Keohane is on trolley-collection duty for the afternoon alongside Myles Williamson who has nearly finished his work placement as part of the Borough’s Care in the Community Outreach Programme.

Keeping his place in the back row, is brother of Rod, cousin of Todd, Uncle of Rob, Ross Muil. He took time out from sniffing his perfect girlfriend, Charlie, to give us his thoughts for this weeks’ Match Preview;

Name- Ross Muil

Nickname(s)- Ross Muil, Rob Muil, Rod Muil, Todd Muil, Rossy, Todd’s brother, Charlie Docker’s ex boyfriend.

Occupation- I’m a scrounging, sponging Student masquerading as a full-time worker in Corporate Finance in an attempt to look cool.

Position- Back row, not 2nd row, and if Zoran Higgins picks me there again, then my pal John Boy Tio will tie him up, stick him in the container, and make him listen to his half-time team talks on repeat.

Former clubs- Leeds and Moortown.

Biggest rugby achievement- Being edged out in the Varsity game at Headingly, 51-5 by Leeds Beckett.

Favourite food- lasagne is nice, so are burgers. You don’t need a plate for burgers, which just gives them the edge over lasagne.

Dream Man/Woman- John Boy Tio can sink 2 litres of cider in 2 minutes, I think that’s pretty dreamy.

Which Maids teammate would you least like to be stuck in a lift with, and why? It would have to be Levi Meek, he’d be trying to convince me to join his sandpit crew.

What do you want to achieve this season? I’d like to get on Dave Cole’s good side, he’s so nasty to me, ever since I told Mobbs he was ducking the S & C. I would also like to try and put a stop to the fledgling relationship between my perfect ex, Charlie Docker and Myke Parrott. I have seen firsthand their long-standing explicit history on FB Messenger.

Man of the Match last week and former Cockle, Joe Parkin keeps his place at 9 against his former club, but is now under pressure, with Perry Jansen nearing the end of his annual sabbatical, and due for a return within the next 4-6 weeks. Also close to returns after injury, are the Darlington brothers (next 2 weeks), Jaryd Robinson (2 weeks) and Jack Hill (2 weeks), whilst Christoph Bart should be back in November, pending the outcome of his court case, after a man dressed as Zorro was spotted speeding away in Big Dom’s Land Rover Defender, with 5 naked women in the back singing along to Erasure.

Sam Churchyard is back in the first team squad for the first time this season, after he took his idea of baby fancy dress a bit too literally over the last couple of weeks, but Ed Atkins misses out after a theatre trip to Matilda on Tuesday, clearly not realising that new Head Coach, Mobbs is an avid Enid Blyton fan, and could not detest Roald Dahl more. Congratulations must go to our very own Eric Blewitt who has this week been invited to attend the upcoming Polish training camp in Warsaw. His recent performances certainly merit an International call up, and we know the proud Pole will relish pulling on the famous red and white jersey, no doubt with Big Trev in support.


Maids team (caps in brackets):

  1. Myke Parrott (c) (201)
  2. Dan Hostetler (3)
  3. Sam Rawsthorne (19)
  4. Chris Campbell (2)
  5. Sam Hallett (30)
  6. Andy Berry (24)
  7. Ross Muil (36)
  8. Dave Cole (44)
  9. Joe Parkin (3)
  10. Will Runciman (42)
  11. Scott Prince (54)
  12. Niall Crossley (25)
  13. Eric Blewitt (20)
  14. Mike Davies (36)
  15. Olly Foxley (16)
  16. Elio Mandozzi (14)
  17. Sam Churchyard (97)
  18. Will Cowan-Dickie (2)


Come on you Maids!