A very warm welcome back to all of our supporters, who we hope are as excited about the new season as all of the coaching and playing staff. It’s been an eventful summer with some great new additions jumping aboard the Maids train, and of course, as is inevitable, a few leavers too.
Preseason has been excellent on the whole, with 3 tough fixtures against Beaconsfield, Tring and Rams (formerly Redingensians), utilising the majority of the (rather large) squad at Head Coach, Russell Bolton’s disposal. Perhaps one of the most enthusing elements of these friendlies, is the continuation of high quality rugby, despite mass changes and replacements. Without doubt, the depth of talent across the senior squad is as extensive as it’s ever been, which is pleasingly underpinned with a large contingent of local lads, and ex-Colts.
The squad have made no secret of their desire for the 1st XV to improve upon last season’s 3rd place finish, whilst the 2nd XV teams, Maids Rangers and Maids Penguins respectively, though in relatively unchartered territory, will both be striving for finishes near the top of their leagues.
With a combined 2nd XV travelling to Marlow for a ‘friendly’ this Saturday, the 1st XV kick off their league campaign against Brixham. After prevailing 50-30 at home last season, Maids lost narrowly in the reverse fixture, 6-0 in appalling conditions, with kicker Tom Putt proving the difference between the two teams that day. It’s a somewhat changed lineup that visit Braywick for this game- Tom Putt, hooker Koree Britton and second row Shek Sheriff all appear to have moved on to pastures new, but ‘The Fishermen’ will be delighted to welcome back Devon skipper Adam Thomas, who missed both games versus Maids last year through injury. New signings James McFarlane and Harrison Cully feature at tighthead and centre respectively, whilst youngster Jordan Watson has returned from New Zealand to take his place in the back row.
For Maids, Bolton hands debuts to Andy Berry aka ‘Big Gay Bez’, Todd Muil, man of the match in Maidenhead’s victorious National Colts Cup final victory last year, Niall Crosley, latest addition to the Northern Mafia, plus full back Olly Foxley. On the bench, Steve Prince’s latest protégé from the Colts’ sandpit crew, Elio Mandozzi will cover the front row. One of the new recruits from midway through last season, Eric Blewitt will start on the wing for Maids this week, and he took a few minutes out from his weird schedule to answer a few questions about himself…
Name- Eric Blewitt
Nickname(s)- George, Stodger, Stodge, ‘Weird P***k’, Polish Boy, Oleg.
Position(s)- Wing, Fullback, centre, away from the bar not talking to people, being weird.
Strengths- Running style, dress sense, choice of towel.
Weaknesses- Social skills, contributing to WhatsApp groups.
Occupation- I’m a non-speaking Project Manager for Joseph Benjamin Marquees.
If you could be any teammate, who would you be and why? I’d be Longy- he does what he wants.
Who, out of your teammates, would you least like round for dinner? Probably Pumba. He’d have a couple of bowls of ice cream with sprinkles, get a sugar high, and then start moaning about Big Don and the portion sizes at the club getting smaller. I just want to sit in silence.
Hobbies- I’m an avid dog trainer, and spend most Sundays at various dog shows around the South East, with my pet poodles, Glitter and Saville.
Tell us something we don’t know we about you- I used to play at the smelliest club in Britain, St Ives (Cambs).
What are your aspirations for this season? I’d like to stay injury-free, win the league, and place at Crufts.
A massive two-fold congratulations must go to 1st XV heartthrob Ed Keohane, who earlier in the week married the lovely Ashley, but far more importantly, is winning his 100th cap this weekend. Keohane joined the Mighty Maids as an 18 year old, under ex Coach, Ricky Khan, and after some time away in Australia and New Zealand, and also spells at London Irish Amateur and Chinnor, Keohane returned home 2 seasons ago. Ed has been an almost ever-present in the team since his return to the club, playing mainly at centre, where his creativity in attack is as dangerous to opposition sides, as his defence is brutal. A fantastic clubman off the pitch, who is often seen coaching youngsters in his spare time and in possession of the 2nd best rendition of ‘A Little Respect’ by Erasure, we are proud to call him one of our own. An unfortunate administration error meant we accidentally missed Ed’s actual 100th cap last season, but we will be celebrating it this week. Many congratulations Ed, keep up the good work!
An eventful summer has seen hippy Sam Hallett develop a new drug habit, aiding his impressive weight loss, whilst Tom King has reaped the benefits of 3 months banged up in Bullendon, and comes out looking like a new man. As predicted, Ellie Birch is indeed ‘back before Xmas’, just like Cadden will be, but returned in a desperate but failed attempt to sabotage the wedding of beloved Dreamboat, Ed Keohane. The club were delighted to see Fwankie having a preseason run out during Meeester Gaweth’s holiday, but he is unlikely to see daylight for another 3 months, after being caught out by his Master, who returned early, catching him absent from his basement bedroom.
On the absentee list, Jon Cranton misses out, after a severe anti-banterial infection, whilst Lewis ‘Pumba’ Jones has strained his calf ‘running’ away with a box of Chuppa Chup lollipops from a 16th birthday party last night. Rorie Hannigan has been missing since Sunday night at the Keohane wedding, telling girlfriend Jess he’d ‘be home by midnight’. After sending various messages to his teammates followed by an unconfirmed sighting of him at Ocean Bar, Ibiza, he still hasn’t arrived home.
Brixham team:
1. R Morris
2. K Cane
3. J McFarlane
4. A Thomas
5. S Trust
6. J Watson
7. J Lovell
8. N Riley
9. J Hext
10. JP Simonetti
11. A Simonetti
12. J Lowe
13. H Cully
14. T Goodman
15. C Bedwell
16. C Smith
17. C Bryce
18. J Ashworth
Maids Team (caps in brackets):
1. M Parrott (c) (180)
2. M Darlington (20)
3. A Darlington (22)
4. S Hallett (25)
5. A Berry (1)
6. T King (12)
7. T Muil (1)
8. D Cole (19)
9. M Childerhouse (103)
10. W Runciman (22)
11. E Blewitt (12)
12. E Keohane (104)
13. N Crosley (1)
14. S Prince (36)
15. O Foxley (1)
16. E Mandozzi (1)
17. L Leonard (24)
18. A Lubbock (3)
Come on you Maids!
MAIDENHEAD 